Saturday, April 4, 2009

Star Wars: Cult Derelicts (DP)

Dissociated Press
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Hollywood, USA

The tragicomic saga of Ananda Skywalker, Finnish philosopher and Hare Krishna derelict, recently recognized as the prodigal son of a former cult leader, has finally reached the big screen. Written and directed by George Lucas, the narration is transplanted from the original alien environment into a familiar science fiction universe.

Screenshot with Wader and Skywalker from last week's Cult Derelicts teaser.

Matching expectations from fans worldwide, the long-waited Hollywood rendering of the saga explores the love-hate relationship of young Padawan and Dark Wader in substantial detail. While the juicy revelations do explain a great deal of Wader's obsessive-compulsive disorder towards Skywalker, rumors abound even the director doesn't know what exactly is going on in Wader's head.

Distributed by Warner Bros, the flick is scheduled for global release on April 15th. While heavily criticized by critics, fans have been going nuts with trailers and sneak peeks at SWcultDerelicts.Com. Looks like another box office rattler from George Lucas in the coming, whatever the critics' opinion!

47 comments:

Mr. Ananda said...

Rumors abound over Dark Vegman Wader's sexual orientation. A Google search for homo hare krishna suggests that Wader may in fact be quite the celebrity in gay Hare Krishna circles. Sounds like material for a sequel!

Anonymous said...

In this photo Kamabooty looks like he is trying to approach you for anal sex, I know he has this inclination and waters at the mouth when he sees a fine young white ass, although to Mr. Booty any ass is a FINE ass as long as he can bugger up close to it.

Run for the hills Ananda, run for your LIFE!!!

Mr. Ananda said...

Papa, noo......

Vegman said...

Puke Skyjacker also known as Oskari Loponen and Ananda Dickflicker is starring in a futuristic comedy where a young man suffering an identity crisis finally finds himself just to have his mother tell him to get his hand out of his pajamas.
Now, the poor boy is wandering the universe in a plywood spaceship trying to find a guru who can give him assurance that putting his hand in his pajamas and exciting an erection is indeed quite OK and in fact a healthy practice.
Please, somebody help this boy out.

Mr. Ananda said...

Neener-neener, Papa =)

Anonymous said...

Help him out? Ha! you gotta be kidding!

If you want to help the young lad out why don't you stop sniffing at his ass all the timew

Surely there are enough decent young homos in IGM who love a good ass drillin you could hook up with AND they think the way you do as well.

Why keep chasing this heterosexual Finnish chap who has clearly rejected your advances for anal sex over and over again Mr. Booty!

Well on a positive note I guess a lot of people will respect your coming out and admitting your Gay, but I think the Chicken Hawk behaviour seen here on this blog is a bit over the top and you may isolate yourself if you keep this up.

I suggest you find a nice older leather lover who will welcome your anal advances.

Best of luck

Anonymous said...

Have I missed something? Kshamabuddhi said he's gay somewhere? Where?

Mr. Ananda said...

It's quite implicit in his explicit denials. =) For starters, follow the Google in the first post.

Vegman said...

Finally, I have been exposed.
I am a flaming homo with designs on the poop shoot of Ananda Psychobabble.
All I ask is that he do a better job of shaving his ass than he does his face because I don't like hairy men.

So, if Ananda's ass is not as hairy and grizzly as his face, then he has a suitor looking to visit him with a bottle of some good lubrication.

Please e-mail me a photo of your butt-hole so I can fantasize about the object of my desire.

Yes, Ananda Psychobabble is one cute guy with a nice butt that rivals even his ex-wife Malati who was a hottie that he was unable to satisfy due to a birth defect called "micro-penis".

So, Ananda has long fantasized himself as a pre-pubescent girl, so his ASS is game even though he is a grizzly dork who can't find his penis with a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers.

So, thanks for the intimate e-mails Ananda and you can rest assured that soon I will arrive there to be with you and give your back-side the relief that you have so well expressed in your intimate e-mails to me.

I know your anus is throbbing in passionate desire for my erect masculinity, but be patient my darling - Papa is on his way.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Booty is a confused fellow, when Ananda was Madhava back on GD, Mr. Booty evidently had a crush on him (MAJOR) and he did a pretty good job of concealing that.

However when Ananda choose to reject Gaudiya Vaishnavsim, it torn Mr. Booty's heart apart and he went into meltdown mode.

The same with lovers all over the world, one moves on and the other is crushed, however, in this case it was a lop-sided, one-sided relationship all in Kshamabooty's brain that he was in love with Ananda (Madhava) and that they would end up together.

You see, when the Love of his life, i.e. Ananda slipped into Buddhist, Advaitin and other non-dual perspectives, it was all too much for Kshamabooty to handle. The thought of loosing his heart desire sent him into a sort of Chicken Hawk state of madness, exactly what we see now on the Blog.

Talking about Masturbating to Anandas photo and such things in public.

It is a sort of revenge for 'leaving him' and of course it is sad to see Kshamabooty lapse into this anal Chicken Hawk crap, obsessing over Ananda rear end day in and day out, but let us have compassion here, he is hurting and is reacting out of pain.

I suggested he find an older lover, perhaps a gay biker who wears leather chaps without underwear for easy entry, he just needs to come down to earth, stop chasing and sniffing at Anandas rear end and go have a nice normal gay life.

Cheers

Anonymous said...

"Please e-mail me a photo of your butt-hole so I can fantasize about the object of my desire"

Need I say more? I guess the world can now see what Ananda is dealing with.

Vegman said...

No, Ananda Psychobabble is my soul mate.
I will follow from universe to universe, life after life until I finally get his hairy ass in my loving hands.

Ananda, you can run but you can't hide.
Papa wants penetration, so please stop playing hard-to-get.

Hurt me Ananda.
You know it is all part of our crooked sexual attraction for each other.

Spank me. Abuse me. Pinch my dick.
It just makes the final orgasm that much more wonderful.

Vegman said...

Thanks for the e-mail picture of your butt-hole Ananda.
I printed it out and framed it in a golden frame and every day I will offer it flowers and incense.

Vegman said...

Ok, Ananda, I got your message.
You want a picture of my groin area in all it's glorious splendor.
Check your e-mail, it should be there.

Anonymous said...

OMG, now he's asking Ananda to freakin pinch his Dick!!!

Pretty soon he will be asking Ananda to send semen samples to chug down!

ew

Mr. Ananda said...

Holy hell Batman! How big was this guy's closet? Methinks huge! Crash! Bang! Boom! The juggernaut is on the roll.

--

P.S. Regarding the photos of your private areas you sent. I forwarded them to the appropriate authorities to determine whether we're looking at a case of sexual harassment. Here's the reply I received.

Dear Ananda L.,

This e-mail is sent with reference to images "kb_drops_undies.jpg" and "vegman_pee_show.jpg", and specifically as to whether their unsolicited electronic delivery to you constitutes sexual harassment.

The level of offensiveness of an image is generally assessed by the extent of intimate exposure. Frankly the folks down at the lab are having a bit of trouble with this one. While resembling an organ of sorts, the object(s) portrayed don't seem to be exactly male or female either.

I've forwarded the materials to our central lab for further analysis -- they do merit some scientific interest. Results pending, I don't think you'll need to be worrying over imminent sexual threats from the object(s) portrayed.

Barbara Y. Schmidt, General Secretary
Institute for the Study of Sex Offenders

Anonymous said...

So what was wrong with Kshamabooty's wife/marriage that he returned her back to the store?

Anonymous said...

"So what was wrong with Kshamabooty's wife/marriage that he returned her back to the store?"

She caught him with a full size battery operated Gay Blow-up doll (named 'OJ') in the bathroom one night after he couldn't get it up with her.

She walks in on him and the doll, both nude, from what I heard that blow up OJ doll was full size in every manner, and stiff in important areas also, so long story short Mr. Booty was getting his ass pounded by this battery operated Gay OJ Blow up doll, with real time live penis action.

Needless to say the wife was a bit perturbed.

:(

Vegman said...

OK, I get the hint.
I am not loved around here.
So, to run me off I get accused of being a homo.
If I was a homo I would sure have a strange way of coming on to Ananda with all my ruse comments and insults.
Is that the way homo's act?
They insult the person they want?

Anyway, I get the hint.
I am leaving this blogger alone to his own devices.
This ain't fun anymore.

He can stay here with Siva and two anonymous people who refuse to reveal their identities.

I can find better things to waste my time on than taking jabs at Ananda for being such a dork.

Anonymous said...

"If I was a homo I would sure have a strange way of coming on to Ananda with all my ruse comments and insults.
Is that the way homo's act?
They insult the person they want?"

Yes it is, and especially in this case as the object of your desire became a non-dualist, which threw you into a hell like state of lost anal love you had been contemplating all these years.

Vegman said...

Well, I agree that Ananda is an ASS-HOLE, so, If I liked him YES I liked an ASS HOLE.

Since Ananda is an ASS-HOLE, I guess that makes anyone who likes him a queer.

After all, only queers like ASS-HOLES.

Mr. Ananda said...

Vegman: OK, I get the hint.
I am not loved around here.


Your kinda loving is a bit on the rough side for most folks here. Given how your rhetoric is sometimes nothing short of the verbal equivalent of an anal rape, it's a small surprise people assume you're similar off the keyboard.

Love Me Tender << Go learn from the king.


Since Ananda is an ASS-HOLE, I guess that makes anyone who likes him a queer.

Fascinating. It's just like Krishna is the ultimate male and everyone is a female in relation to him. I'm the ultimate cosmic asshole (n.b. "asshole" is a compound word), and everyone is a queer lover in relation to me. This stuff is so profound it blows my socks off.

It's all Vedic, Prabhu. Even Chandogya-upanishad uses the word Asa for "the lower part of the body behind", "posteriors". (Thence Asana, or seating your butt down.)

No don't leave the blog, we'll nominate you for the official Vedic Asa-pati.

oM kSamabuddhaye Asa-patitvaM dadAmi hUM svAhA // *ding ding ding* //

And we're all set for rock'n'roll!

Vegman said...

except for the fact that mukta jivas become isvara and are not always female in relationship with Krishna.

Anonymous said...

"Since Ananda is an ASS-HOLE, I guess that makes anyone who likes him a queer"

Booty, come on man, stop with this self depreciation, just because your GAY and enjoy a little anal action does not mean your a bad person and if liking Ananda makes a person queer, well you obviously LOVE the guy so what does that make YOU?

Anonymous said...

Kshamabooty,

Just curious were you ever at the Dallas Gurukula?

Vegman said...

There are too many vipers in this snake pit.
I am outta here.

This is the last time I will ever visit this blog.

Adios.................

Anonymous said...

Hey, don't let the door slam your ass on the way out, and best of luck with all those gay blow up dolls.

=)

Mr. Ananda said...

Vegman: There are too many vipers in this snake pit. I am outta here. This is the last time I will ever visit this blog.

According to my count, that would be approximately the seventh ever.

"Never say never." — James T. Bond

Anonymous said...

Romeo Void - Never Say Never

If time itself was his demeanor
There’d be no sunlight or a glimmer
Of sunlight landin on the street
Sunsuit girls must be discreet
Sunsuit girls must be discreet
Nursing their fathers locked inside
They masqueraded as his bride

I might like you better
If we slept together
But there’s somethin
In your eyes that says
Maybe that’s never
Never say never

The slump by the courthouse
With windburn skin
That man could give a fuck
About the grin on your face
As you walk by, randy as a goat
He's sleepin on papers
When he'd be warm in your coat

I might like you better
If we slept together
But there’s somethin
In your eyes that says
Maybe that’s never
Never say never

There’s no easy way to lose your sight
On the street, on the stairs
Who's on your flight
Old couple walks by, as ugly as sin
But he’s got her and she’s got him

Never say never

Anonymous said...

"I might like you better
If we slept together
But there’s somethin
In your eyes that says
Maybe that’s never
Never say never"

You see this is exactly what is going on in Kamabooty's mind in relation to Ananda, the relationship is all based on 'sleeping together' or in Kamabooty's mind buggering up next to that FINE YOUNG WHITE ASS!

This friends is why he is constantly insulting and condemning Ananda, i.e., because Ananda won't bend over for him and Kamabooty get's pissed off.

I have never seen such Cyper Chicken Hawk behaviour as this before, frightening!

Anonymous said...

this blog sucks....

Anonymous said...

check me out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5tWNWfoPpI

Anonymous said...

"this blog sucks...."

I thought you said you were never coming back?

:/

Mr. Ananda said...

check me out...

"See, this oneness-thing... in a way it's sad... hahahaha..." (at about nine minutes)

Real super profound, I must admit! One wonders if the man has much of a clue at all about "the oneness thing"...

Anonymous said...

"Real super profound, I must admit! One wonders if the man has much of a clue at all about "the oneness thing"...


His idea of oneness is when his hand is ONE with his genital and a bottle of lotion.

Mr. Ananda said...

You wouldn't believe what I just found at Gaudiya Repercussions... See for yourself! Where was it that you lived again, Vegman? It was something Falls in Florida if memory serves... What falls I don't know, you tell us.

Mr. Ananda said...

It says "phallus falls" there. Now how does this reflect on the situation, one wonders. Is this just a case of an old man doing a bit of internet fantasizing with no real life capacity for seeing them through?

Anonymous said...

"Phallus Falls" is a well known hot spot that attracts Chicken Hawks from all over.

Kamabooty didn't move there by accident I can tell you that much.

Anonymous said...

I do hope the fascination here shown with the digestive canal does not go unexplored. Who knows what pleasures await or at knowing the health of the colon? The connection people continuously make with Ananda's philosophical exploits and the bowels is another realm altogether.

babu

Mr. Ananda said...

Indeed. For example, if you ever grow tired of the male bigalow business, you can put your rear end into lighter use and still make some income. How's that sound, Vegman?

Anonymous said...

Ananda, when did you get that tattoo?

Mr. Ananda said...

Which one?

Anonymous said...

The one in the picture...

http://seopetriii.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/tattoo.jpg

Anonymous said...

Your attempts at humor are childish and corny. Face it -- you're just not very funny.

Mr. Ananda said...

Who laughs can see the humor.

Anonymous said...

Who laughs can see the humor.

ooooooooooo hevvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeee stufffffff

Mr. Ananda ∴ μ α ω λ said...

It is like this... Said Iam Thatiam Once for All!

╔═══════════╗
╠══════► ∞ ♥ ∞ [ONE-LOVE]
╠═════► ∞ ☯ ∞ — ☺|☻ ═► [Quantum-Bipolar-Bliss]
╠════► ☺☺|☺☻|☻☺|☻☻ ═► [Solar-Lunar-Binary]
╠═══► ☺☺☺|☺☺☻|☺☻☺|☺☻☻ [Solar-Ternary]
╠══► ☻☺☺|☻☺☻|☻☻☺|☻☻☻ ═► [Lunar-Ternary]
╠════════════════╗
╠═ ◄ ≡ ☺ ≡ ☯ ≡ ☻ ≡ ► ═╣ [ Mirror World = Above & Outside ]
╠═══ ∞ ♥ ∞ ☯ ∞ ♥ ∞ ═══╣ ALL-AS-ONE: ONE-LOVE-AXIS!
╠═ ◄ ≡ ☻ ≡ ☯ ≡ ☺ ≡ ► ═╣ [ Mirror Brain = Below & Inside ]
╠════════════════╝
╠══► ☺☻☻|☺☻☺|☺☺☻|☺☺☺ ═► [Solar-Ternary]
╠═══► ☻☻☻|☻☻☺|☻☺☻|☻☺☺ [Lunar-Ternary]
╠════► ☻☻|☻☺|☺☻|☺☺ ═► [Lunar-Solar-Binary]
╠═════► ∞ ☯ ∞ — ☻|☺ ═► [Bipolar-Quantum-Bliss]
╠══════► ∞ ♥ ∞ [ONE-LOVE]
╚═══════════╝

@@@ IN-YOUR-TUBES: Wisdom Matrix ≡ Sahasrara Celestial Lifecycle Harvester

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