Friday, April 1, 2011

Ouroboros Eats Four Horsemen of Apocalypse (DP)

Dissociated Press
Friday, April 1st, 2011
Har Megiddo, East of West

In a shocking update from the apocalyptic fields in the Har Megiddo area, the Four Horsemen of Apocalypse riding between East and West have been swallowed by healthy cyclic intervention. According to eye-witnesses with two eyes open, four Ouroboreal creatures appeared out of thin air and out-flanked the destructive horsemen with ease. With an unprecedented display of strategic zig-zag manoeuvers, the riders of dominion and doom were herded into a controlled implosion of unnecessary opposites.

"Heated debates over essential triviality have sceptics and zealots divided. Yodhe Wavhe comments for heaven and earth, 'We're all just hoping for someone to wake up and get the point.'"
Sananda Karmaregius from Institute of Apocalyptic Cryptozoology (IAC) sheds light on the creature: "The rarely seen Ouroboros Continuitis has an uncanny ability to reconcile conflicting polarities. We're looking at an existential chameleon hiding in plain sight. Ouroboros are known to interrupt human-initiated apocalyptic cycles with uncanny harmonic stunts; apparently a recreative sport for the younger specimen." Ouroboros are famous for sleeping with their tails in their mouths, highlighting the reconciled duality of their base nature and lifestyle.

Attempts to place Ouroboros Continuitis on the evolutionary ladder have met with failure. IAC researchers struggle to catalog the creature in conventional terms: "When we place it on the evolutionary ladder, it just rolls straight off — sometimes up and sometimes down, following a cardinal pattern in an apparent attempt to communicate something. When we try to put it into our tree of species, it coils around and then swallows its tail and the tree along with it, short-circuiting all of our systems."

"Recent leaks suggest that Lion of Zion has broken covenants with heralds of imbalance, joining forces with the Ouroboros to advance a shared agenda of bilateral and quadlateral harmony."
U.S. AntIcon and Department of Offense have declared DEFCON 2 in face of an imminent Ouroboreal threat to all nations with imbalance between right and left, man and woman, black and white, religion and science, heart and intellect. Dire warnings were voiced by General Oswald Samael: "...and this agenda puts us straight in the line of fire. Our intelligence suggests that the Ouroboros are a dangerous group of terrorists who seek to systematically undermine our agendas dependent on strategic imbalance. If we bomb them, they redirect the blast to our tectonic plates. If we rain napalm on them, it flows straight into our volcanoes. These reptilians are scheming to build weapons of mass reconstruction and pose an unprecedented threat to our national in-security."

The abused and down-trodden the world around, finding hope with the re-emergence of Ouroboros Continuitis, have assembled for mass demonstrations against the generals of imbalance. Conspiracy theorists buzz about shadowy governments, whom they suspect as orchestrators for the reign of the Four Horsemen of Apocalypse. Dr. Raksuman Sageradian from University of Varanasi comments: "We have long held that the influence of the apocalyptic riders emerges as a distributed culmination of human awareness. When mental imbalance leads to systematic acts of imbalance, disturbed potentials emerge as a collective state of crisis. In that sense, the leaders of the world are responsible — but they share the blame with all those who choose to follow an unhealthy continuum of awareness."

While the popular opinion on Ouroboros Continuitis and other species of balance is fragmented, experts in the fields of apocalyptic justice containment and sociopsychological symbology are in consensus over the recent developments. A statement from the Macrocosm Apocalyptic Human Directors Institute empathically notes, "The reintroduction of Ouroboros Continuitis into the social ecosystem is a welcome addition that will improve the general quality of life and open new doors to freedom, balance and peace in the global arena. Essentially, it would fulfill the 'and justice for all' ideal we have long sought and long evaded.'" [+±-]


Mr. Ananda ∴ μ α ω λ said...

Reposting this important DP news leak for everyone to keep it available while the shadows seek to suppress the truth. This twist of developments will have conspiracy theorists and global orchestrators spinning for many cycles to come. You don't see this in the mass media, but it's all too real and happening as we speak. Read the truth now, follow the trail of the Ouroboros, share the newsleak with others, prepare for times of change!

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Mr. Ananda ∴ μ α ω λ said...

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Anonymous said...

I suggest thorazine

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